Lord of the flies

The Super Bowl is over and yes there is no football until Aug, however, this post really isn’t about football. But you would think with the absence of football a percentage of men would be walking around in gloom. Puhlease. This is a fine example of where our values lie. What do you mean Pain? Well let me put it this way, the majority of Americans, mostly younger age groups have no freaking clue how good they have it in America. Think back to the Super Bowl game and those with you. How long do you think they would last before breaking down in frustration in a third world country like oh let’s say Afghanistan. Not a scary dangerous part of Afg but let’s say even on any of the 14,000 ft mountain tops.


This isn’t about how tough they are, it’s about how Americans have become fat slobs and “expect” how things are given to them. Even if they pay for it, they can go just about anywhere in the US (except for maybe Detroit….lolo) and get it. I always said if I was king for a day the one thing I would do is load up every senior high school class and take them to Helmand province or Tarwin Kowt and let them see how the rest of the world lives. After I listened to 25ish hours of bitching about how there is no movie on the C17 flight there and how they had to pee into a tube during the flight, the looks on their faces would be a hoot when I made them walk a mile off the airplane to waiting military trucks. But I’m sure they would be happy when I dumped them into the 50 man tents and no ladies there are no walls. Wait a minute, I know you going to say “Pain, these kids didn’t join the military”, correct, I’m just having a happy moment thinking about it, let me enjoy it would ya?

To really get the true effect of how we really have it good in the States, they wouldn’t get a 50 man tent. We didn’t. Hell, I lived in a bombed out horse stable in a burnt out vet building for seven months and that was pretty good compared to the neighboring village. Ok, maybe I would give them the tent…..naaaa. The point of it would hit them in the face after a short 24hours (yes only 24hrs) when they would realize there is no running water, flowing shitters and there are things out there that want to kill them and I’m not even talking about the enemy. For that matter let’s take the enemy out of the equation all together, let’s pretend they don’t exist (out Gov does) so for this example everyone is happy there. (I crack myself up).

The hot days and cool nights are sure noticeable without electricity and a nice house. The whining, oh for the love of God, make it stop, I can already hear it. “Where can I charge my phone?” (Pain)-Let me see it I can charge it, they hand it to me and I trade it for a piece of crap 1971 Toyota tuck with a local tribal leader. Hey look, you got a car. Now what do we have to trade for some gas people? Picture them all sitting around in the dirt (cause there aren’t chairs) sniffing about wanting to go home. Naaaa,I would keep them busy. C’Mon kids, are ya thirsty (as they look around for a facet.) Wait, we don’t live in a nice village with a well. Nope, we have to hike for our water just like the neighbor lady who is 70 years old and been doing this since she was able to walk. Who wants the big plastic containers to carry back full of water?

Pain, where can we get something to eat? Glad you asked Billy, give me your shoes, cause those just might get us that fat ass goat over there if we can trade and that sheep herder isn’t pissed at us for looking at him like a bum. Here is is pretty well off. Bingo, you had to throw in your watch too but we can at least eat now. Ok, who wants to cut its throat? Cricket….cricket. Sally says gross and says “I’ll starve before I eat that goat” she will change her mind in about 12 hours. Hunger is a bitch.

Little Stevie didn’t listen when I told him not to eat those particular candy that kid gave him. He has a stomach ache now, or what I like to call Hersey butt aka dysentery. Let’s get Stevie a place to lay down because the next 24 hours are going to suck for him. Pain, what are we doing here, this is dumb, dusty and cold at night. Well, my friend, we a part of the village now. Tomorrow we are going to scrape opium off of opium bulbs for about 14 hours but don’t mind that blood coming out of your thumb because the tools here are pretty primative. You’ll get hard or, loose your thumb nail. If we scrape enough opium bulbs we can get another goat tomorrow or the next day maybe if we all pitch in our money. However, most of us will have eaten enough dirt in the next three days to a week from sand storms and we will have some sort of parasite in our guts, just luck of the draw who gets it worse or who gets something worse like intestinal worms, hook worm or something else creative.

Listen Billy, you wash your hands down river after you poop from where we collect drinking water. Although our neighbors think the same way and their spot is just above ours, its ok, it builds your immune system. I figure after about a week, no 3-4 days, most of them would self-destruct in frustration. Not to say there wouldn’t be some strong minded that would excel and find a trade to survive, many would implode. Why? Well because most are use to a culture that has many needs and luxuries without earning them. They are used to the “free handout”. Ha, I just described a major portion of the US. Some have had such a cushy life style where they never had to really fend for themselves they wouldn’t know how to survive. Think about it, would any of those people at the super bowl party with you excel or would they implode. Interesting isn’t it as you think about who was there with you. The goal wouldn’t be to crush them, I wouldn’t have to do anything to them (oh but I could) but I wouldn’t have to, many would begin arguing unless those among them, the stronger ones that weren’t always spoon fed began to lead the weak. It would be a page right out of the Lords of the Flies. I like pigs heads on sticks. It’s a hit at any party!

That’s why I laugh at those “survival” shows, they tear each other apart instead of say, hey let’s all work together, no the money “prize” keeps that out of the equation.

My goal would be simple, take them to any third world country and let them live like the locals. Then just maybe they would be appreciative of what America means and actually offers them and then maybe even grown men that go through it wouldn’t pout about the fact that there isn’t any football until next Aug. That’s just One Marine’s View…… Time for a Cigar


  1. An excellent post! You’ve hit it out of the ball park–again–accurately describing our self-absorbed, egotistical, cossetted American mentality, especially those who think living here in this wonderful nation is so horrible!

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