So we are moving around some and I stopped to enjoy an Army chow hall. You know, have a sandwich and real cold cuts and try to live like the other half…There I am minding my business and trying to get a piece of Swiss cheese for my sandwich when this third country national that was apparently on some sort of time trials to restock the cheese in the sandwich bar damn near scissor kicked my ass when I reached for a slice.

Man was she put out. I though, hmmm I haven’t showered in over  a week, haven’t had solid chow for some time and thought I’d have a sandwich and a coke….crazy  I know, then I am getting bowed up to by a 4ft ball of hate and discontent. I had happy thoughts of balling her up and putting her in my cargo pocket but I didn’t want to get my ass kicked in front of my Marines (lol). That would have been sad.  You know when all you want is a sandwich and ya can’t event get that…’s not so good. She eventually threw some ninja type flour in my eyes and began to fling Doritos at me like Chinese stars as she climbed away on the ceiling cussing me out. Tough crowed. I think I will pass on the sandwich and have a cigar…it’s a food group…right?


  1. Funny, See the thing is you Marines can’t just walk out of the bush into a nice civilized establishment and continue your crazy ways. There’s rules man… lol See us SF types send in a platoon of indig’s and then come in and save the day thereby getting anything we want.

  2. Maj Pain…I feel your pain…but I’ll bet the sandwich ninja (actually sandwich nazi) at the subway just north of our little town in northern Colorado could take her…this broad is scary…hey, want me to send her over?

  3. Sandwich Ninja, eh? Tough breed. Make sure you avoid Potato Chip Witches and Spaghetti Vikings too. LETHAL, I TELL YA!

  4. Ha, send us a picture of a camel spider. Sometimes they take on the personality of the spider, u have to really watch out for the ceilling walkers, Try feeding it first and see if you can eat without attack Dude, eat in peace Bless our troops.

  5. Major – News Flash…just wanted you to know I got all the Church Ladies signed up for the following patriotic event. I promise pictures.
    As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.
    So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
    Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
    All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
    Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
    The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
    God bless America !
    P.S.. It is your patriotic duty to inform others. If you don’t send to at least 1 person, you’re a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possibly aiding and abetting terrorists.

  6. Takes a big man Major… 🙂 !!
    You are welcome for a sandwhich at our house anytime!
    God bless!

  7. For future reference the way to curb any female ninja is with chocolate. I know it doesn’t hold up to well there, just saying…. chocolate soothes the savage beast… and women. It sounds like you did the right thing by backing out slowly without making any sudden movements, those sandwich Ninja’s are wiley. Maybe next time you’ll get that cheese.

  8. I hope “moving around some” means you all have rolled on out of there. Your patience with the Ninja ceiling climbing Ninja puts me to shame. I’m afraid she would have frosted my cake. Just so you know we didn’t forget you at PF here’s a link to the thread that kept the readers over there updated on your mission. It will be good to see you posting again. You all continue to be remembered in our thoughts and prayers.

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