Rules for the Non-Military   (passed on from a friend) 

*Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.  For those of  you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:*

   1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.

   2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest- kick their ass.

   3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans.  If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly
pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second.  Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation Great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass!

   4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces.  Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

   5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot.  Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

   6.If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* 'non-military', inform them of their mistake – and kick their ass. 

  7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her – of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe                   ass-kicking.

   8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation.
Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief(CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC Regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet All we know is
That when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid
questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.

   9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me – stop saying it!  If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick
your ass!

   10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is!  Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me – if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

   11. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines),* 'Grunt' (*Army*), 'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other.  Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them                       could get your ass kicked.

   12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families… Every Thanksgiving and religious    holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen far from home wishing; they could be with their families.. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked..'

   *'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.'  'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
   'It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.'  'It 's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the
flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.'


13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish – KICK THEIR ASS.


  1. I read your post of June 19th 2009 and I would like to pose a simple question. I know that over e-mail things can be misunderstood so I would like to preface by saying that I am not attacking you in any way I am simply posing a question.
    In your post you advocate kicking someones ass for exercising the rights our veterans fight for. It would seem counter intuitive to go overseas endure harsh conditions and risk your life for a set of values and freedoms only to return home and fight to deny those freedoms to citizens at home.
    If you go to a ballgame and someone doesn’t remove their hat during the national anthem that may be highly disrespectful and may make your blood boil but the fact is you fought for his/her right to do it so to kick their ass for it would be hypocritical to say the least. So my question is was the post meant in jest? If not how do you reconcile the apparent hypocrisy of the post?
    I would like to close by again saying this is not an attack simply a questions. I look forward to your response.
    Dan B
    Major Pain to Dan
    show details 11:39 AM (5 minutes ago) Reply
    Not taken that way. I would simply say that if someone didn’t decide to take the small time & effort to show the respect to the nation, flag and people who defend it then what does that say about that individual? Granted yes, they do have the right to demonstrate their “right” not to respect the flag or those that defend it but perhaps that’s a major problem within our country right now. Parents haven’t instilled the morals of respect for their elders and or country into their children.
    I have served next to Marines who have died to protect the freedom we have and you right to have the freedom of speech. I would say the least we could do is show our appreciation and respect, regardless of our opinions aside.
    I’m certain that if you asked any veteran, they would be in line to “kick ass” if someone didn’t show the respect for their country, flag and freedom that so many have died to give. I guess that would be their expression of freedom of speech as well. We don’t jest about what we stand for.
    More importantly, why would someone who didn’t believe in the National Anthem, flag etc and show their appreciation stay in America? Wouldn’t that be counterproductive?

  2. Reply to:
    “More importantly, why would someone who didn’t believe in the National Anthem, flag etc and show their appreciation stay in America? Wouldn’t that be counterproductive?”
    No. Anyone born into this country’s citizenship (i.e born here or born to parents who are citizens of the U.S. while abroad) is born with the right to expect all of the freedoms this country affords, regardless of their personal opinions on Old Glory, the U.S. military, U.S. foreign policy, or the inclusion of a national anthem at public events to begin with. Civilians have every right to be completely disengaged from politics, extremely involved in politics, or anywhere in between on the spectrum. And civilians who feel shame at the foreign policy that our lawmakers send our military to enforce should feel no pressure to do anything during the national anthem that they don’t feel an urge to do innately. Part of the problem with failed and corrupted foreign policy is that support for the military has been seamlessly woven in to the psyche of the average American. There comes a time when any country must be questioned by its citizens, because blind patriotism in the face of evidence of wrongdoing is akin to putting a band-aid on infection and forgetting about it. That is what America has done with foreign policy- refuse to question it for fear of being accused of “not supporting the troops”.

  3. but…. isn’t disrespecting the country whose freedoms you enjoy somewhat like crapping on your own kitchen table?

  4. If someone thinks that it was ok for our military boys to be sent to fight a war in order to financially benefit billionaire oil-company executives.. Kick their ass!
    Or don’t kick their ass. Just post a comment on a thread that will do nothing other than make them mindlessly resort to the knee-jerk reaction of “F**kin’ liberal! Wish I could kick his ass!”.

  5. My father was an Iwo Jima surviver. He died in 2008; I am very proud.
    I like this article on “Rules for Kicking Ass”, but I wish to bring up a point on the 1st paragraph made.
    According to tradition, with civilians, men show respect by removing the hat.
    According to History, tradition and ancient scripture: It is just the opposite for a creature called a “Woman.” Civilian Women/females show respect by wearing a hat or cover on her head. If you don’t believe me just Google the subject on the history of women, hats and veils etc.
    You do not kick the ass of a Lady who is following the ancient protocol for being a lady.
    Whoever wrote this article needs to rethink its first paragraph. Otherwise, it is a very good article.

  6. Sorry but I don’t see the point of joining the army, why would I do it? to defend my country? to defend it from what or who? The U.S.A army is killing people in Iraq just for the petroleum and you are prod of it? shame on you!

  7. “No. Anyone born into this country’s citizenship (i.e born here or born to parents who are citizens of the U.S. while abroad) is born with the right to expect all of the freedoms this country affords, regardless of their personal opinions on Old Glory, the U.S. military, U.S. foreign policy, or the inclusion of a national anthem at public events to begin with. Civilians have every right to be completely disengaged from politics…”
    Are you kidding me?… while it may be someones “right” to not be involved in poilitics by constitutional decree; it is each and every citizens moral and ethical (oops, that’s right; few people even know what a moral or ethic is anymore) responsibility to be involved in the political process in this country. Apathy, such as what you describe, but I hope do not practice, is the reason we are having so many problems with our political process today.
    AS long as we are on morals and ethics; it is morally and ethically appropriate to show respect for your country, your flag, and the very people who sacrifice to protect them! Even though you may seem to think it is okay to exercise certain rights; being disrespectful is NOT okay!
    Thank you Maj Pain for such a heartfelt posting! I totally agree that we must be diligent in correcting innappropriate behavior when we see it. While I would likely not kick someones ass, I would definitely show then the err of their ways and firmly insist on a demonstration of respect in such instances.
    Civilian Contractor

  8. I am a vet from desert shield/storm. I am honored to carry the colors each year to lead a parade near my home. Many people stand, applaud and show respect. Yes, this is in a smaller town in Middle America and I am thankful all the same.
    This year I had a young man ask me ‘why do people applaud…’ I asked him to walk with me as I went over to the VFW booth – the parade ended as part of a weekend fair. I explained that there are likely many reasons why people may want to applaud, but I know of two that common. One is for these men, those that served our country’s call to arms. The other was for respect of the colors (flags: American, POW/MIA, American Legion, Missouri) that we carried.
    The young man asked a few more questions. Then I introduced him to a few of the ‘old-timers’ and thanked him for taking the time to ask.
    It was heartwarming to watch this young man as he talked with the old-timers. He acted as if he was meeting celebrities and the old-timers were just as thrilled. They took time to show him pictures, explain uniforms and medals. Funny in a way, the old-timers were young aging, back in uniform – their pride hidden just out of sight behind their kindness, a kindness to talk with this young man of maybe thirteen.
    Sometimes a kindness has as much impact as our actions. Those kind words shared with that young man will far out last any bruises.

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